Birth Is Birth

There is almost nothing that ruffles my feathers more than when a mother compares her birth story to other mothers and goes as far as to feel less than a mother or a woman because of how her birth played out.

There couldn’t possibly be a worse way to measure the success of motherhood or the validity of your birth.

I am personally a huge advocate of written birth plans. Some are not, but the reason I am is because without a plan you’re essentially going in blind. Birth is the last thing you want to walk into blind because it is no respecter of persons. However, in my “pro-birth plan” heart and mind, I do not believe that everyone with a written birth plan gets what they write down. That isn’t how it works.

To have a plan is to simply say “this is my hope and my prayer for my birth experience and I have put in the work according to that plan”. As we all know, birth is unpredictable and you don’t know what the outcome will be until baby is in your arms. In fact, if all women were honest they would probably tell you that some aspect of their birth did not go as planned.

So, why do we use this birth story “measuring stick” to be the determining factor of the validity of our birth?

Whether you gave birth vaginally, via C-section, medicated, unmedicated, in a hospital, at home or a birth center, if baby was born breech, or you experienced medical concerns in pregnancy or birth… YOU. GAVE. BIRTH!

The one and only determining factor of whether or not your birth is “valid”, is if there is a baby on the outside that use to be on the inside of you. That’s it.

Birth is birth. So if you’ve been beating yourself up on any level for how your birth experience played out, stop. You have a story. Use it for good. Share is with other women who may need it hear it. Your story could carry an aspect that just might bring healing to another mothers heart.

So, let’s stop comparing. And let’s start supporting.